It is often said that divorce court is skewed in the favour of women, creating scores of frustrated and dissatisfied husbands and fathers. In recent years, however, the legal system has become a bit more balanced, giving equal opportunities and outcomes to both men and women. While you cannot count on luck to win your divorce case, there are plenty of divorce tricks for men to do. These tricks will protect the male party from being taken to the cleaners or have their kids taken away.
Here are eight commonly used divorce tricks for men:
1. List Your Priorities
Every divorcing couple has their priorities. One spouse wants to keep the house, while the other wants to keep most of the savings. Whatever the case may be, it is a helpful tactic to list your priorities as soon as the intent for divorce is established. By doing this, you can keep your eyes on the prize without experiencing any detours. It is also a good way to keep you and your divorce attorney on the same track.
Indeed, once you have an idea of what you want, then you can launch a game plan.
2. Don’t Fight Over Depreciating Items
In a divorce battle, every aspect is an eternal struggle. A lot of couples do not want to concede an inch or make any concessions. Instead, because the loathing has accumulated over the years, they want to attain any victory they can.
For instance, the wife may want to keep the living sofa that cost $3,000 10 years ago, but the husband wants to contest ownership. This is a superfluous endeavour because not only is it just a sofa, it has also depreciated in value over the years.
Simply put: fighting over pieces of property – sofas, tablets, or the 1991 Honda Civic – will only create more headaches and costly legal bills. These are not what’s important, which brings us to the next point.
3. Never Use Your Kids as Pawns
One of the worst things about divorced is that it impacts the children. While mothers and fathers are going to war over the summer home or a retirement savings account, the kids are sitting on the sidelines watching their parents battle each other. It is a horrific situation for sons and daughters everywhere.
The only way you can make it worse is if you utilise your children as pawns.
In other words, you are trying to gain leverage in the divorce proceedings, garner possession of certain things, and even obtain majority custody over the children. This is unfair to the kids, it is also unfair the opposing spouse. It will be expensive to bring your children into this matter, but it will also damage them in an innumberable ways.
4. Take Action, Don’t Twiddle Your Thumbs
Your wife informs you of her intention to divorce you or has already filed the required paperwork. You still love your wife and you want to maintain the status quo. Rather than tackling the circumstances head on, you are choosing to be indecisive by burying your head in the sand and wait for your wife to do all the legwork. This is the wrong course of action to take, especially if there is very little chance of reconciliation.
Instead, you need to seek professional legal advice, hire professional legal representation, maintain consistent contact with your soon-to-be ex, and remain active in the divorce proceedings.
Yes, it is a stressful and emotional roller coaster, but this is what you will need to endure. It could also make you a stronger person at the end of it all.
5. Get Everything in Writing
The best way to protect yourself throughout the divorce process is to attain everything in writing. You don’t want to have a handshake, wink, or nod as your evidence. Instead, you will need to have all communications, all agreements, all concessions, and all meetings in writing. The only way to survive the complex and immense justice system is to have every little thing in writing – digital or hand-written.
6. Do Your Best to Agree
One of the best divorce tricks for men is to be agreeable. No one will argue the fact that divorce is expensive. From hiring lawyers to paying for the paperwork to missing time from work, you’re spending thousands just to end a 23-year marriage. That said, if you want to speed up the process and limit your legal fees, then your best option is to agree as much as possible with your wife.
The animosity, tensions, and hostilities are obvious, but for the greater good, you should reach an agreement on most things. This makes life a lot easier.
7. Hiding Assets Will Create Unnecessary Litigation
Your wife may be vindictive and wants to get as much as she can. This is the reason why you are trying your best to hide a lot of assets, whether it is tucking them under the mattress or using foreign bank accounts.
Will this achieve much? Unlikely.
In today’s environment, it is easier than ever to access anything you own, even if it’s located in the Cayman Islands. Moreover, if the judge presiding over your case determines that you are being surreptitious, then you could suffer the consequences, whether it is losing leverage or being penalized for your insincerity and shady activities.
8. Garner Support Because Divorce Drains You
Here is what most people do not realise: divorce drains you – in every way.
It drains you physically. It drains you emotionally. It drains you financially. It takes its toll on you the longer it goes on, which is why many couples just agree to anything to have it over and done with.
The best way to handle your case is to garner external support:
- Meet with other men who have been in your position.
- Try to get friends and families to offer support.
- Throw yourself into your work to forget about these troubles.
- Use all the advice your divorce attorneys give you.
You don’t want to have a nervous breakdown by the time it’s all over. So, don’t be shy or apprehensive; seek out support if it helps.
A divorce turns your life upside down. What was once a tranquil, calm, and loving relationship suddenly metastasizes into one of resentment, annoyance, and hate. When this seeps into divorce proceedings, then you’re in for quite the ride. However, if you employ these eight common sense divorce tricks for men, then your life will not be in shatters.